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When we talk about “childhood trauma,” most people think of what was done to them, the shouting, the hitting, the chaos. But sometimes, trauma is what was missing. The smile that never came. The hug that wasn’t given. The “I’m proud of you” you never heard. The love you had to earn instead of simply receiving. You grew up learning how to survive love instead of feeling safe in it. You learned to shrink yourself to avoid being too much, or to overachieve so you’d finally be seen. And when you bec
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